I recently saw a repost of a sign from an IKEA store, trying to persuade parents into purchasing a new kitchen. How was IKEA trying to appeal to parents? Here’s the signage:

My first thought, honestly, was, “Are you f**king kidding me?”

‘Sharing a space together’ while ‘scrolling’ are oxymorons. I’m picturing a family sitting on barstools, maybe standing at the island, in a beautiful new IKEA kitchen… but they’re not talking about their day, looking one another in the eyes, or even enjoying a meal together… The teens have their heads down, rapid-fire scrolling Tiktok videos. Maybe the parents are trying to make conversation while staring at the top of their teens’ head, or maybe they are checking their emails. They’re ‘together’ physically, but not enjoying each other’s company. This scenario may not be much different than how things were even pre-technology (teens dodging their parents’ advances to bond), but this marketing tactic just left me with an icky taste in my mouth.

Instead of encouraging parents to entice their teens into the kitchen to share a home cooked meal, chat about their day or bake their favourite cookies, it’s…. let’s charge devices and scroll together. Instead of recognizing that most families are struggling to pull their kids off technology, they’re enticing them to do it together. They’re saying, “Why fight it? Embrace it, then everyone will be happy! Or at least you’ll be in the kitchen together…”

After I moved past my frustration with IKEA’s marketing strategy, I wondered, “Is it even possible for parents to fight back against this tsunami of technology that’s looking to swallow up our kids? (and us)”

I have to believe that the answer is yes. If I stop believing this, I’m not sure where we’re headed as a society. I see through the conversations I’m having that more and more parents are waking up and tuning into what’s happening, and want to push back after seeing the effects that too much technology is having on all of us.

But how can we get more parents on board with pushing back?

To really see change, we need to recognize the power of collective action. Kids want to be on their phones because all the other kids are on theirs. For our younger kids, who don’t yet have phones, there is a massive opportunity to change this. If enough parents come together to delay giving smartphones and access to social media, all of a sudden the appeal lessens. By delaying, we can make real world experiences more appealing. Collective action also starts political pressure to make online spaces safer for children.

To accomplish this, education needs to spread. More parents need to understand what’s happening, in order to be able to educate their children from a young age. We need to talk to each other in a supportive way. With education brings intentional, mindful use of technology.

We have to recognize that every app we use, every google search, every ‘Hey Alexa’ command is learning about us, and using that data to keep us scrolling longer. And we have to recognize that our children are especially vulnerable to this.

We, as the parents, have to value time off-screens. We need to see ads like the one above and also think, ‘Are you f**king kidding me?” Off-screen time cannot be optional, and should not be the only way to convince our kids to hang out with us. This isn’t to demonize screens, but rather to recognize that spending a quarter of our day staring at our phones instead of spending time together is not helping our kids’ mental health (or ours), and is likely harming our relationship with them. See this post about modelling healthy use of tech.

When more parents push back against the tech stronghold, kids are more likely to meet up outside, engage in free play, and yes… come hang out in the kitchen.